History of My World - Part I

One of the things that I really wanted to do with my PF blog was to tell my story. I've had some high points and lots of low points. Mistakes were made. But instead of one really long post, I figured that I'd post in chunks. So, over the next few days, we'll get the history of my world.

Part I: Life in the DelMoniq House (Birth - Age 18)

This will likely be the shortest chunk of history (but cover the most time). Honestly, I don't remember too much about my childhood--good or bad. But we'll see what I can dredge up from the bowels of my brain.

Of course, being a child/teenager, I was under the direct financial influence of my parents and, for the most part, was completely supported by them financially. I'd definitely classify our family as middle-class. I'm not entirely sure what that means in "real people terms" but for me that means we weren't wealthy. We didn't live in a mansion and have servants, but my parents owned our home, and I have no memory of ever lacking any of life's necessities (food, shelter, clothes, etc.). I do remember being embarrassed, because the latent-hippie in my mother would make clothes for us when I was really young.

Ingrained in me from as early as I can remember was the fact that one had to earn his/her own way in life and should never expect things to be simply given to him/her. Well, when you're 10 years old, this is a HUGE bummer, because you don't get an allowance. No matter how hard I begged and presented case after case of friends at school that got allowances, I never got one. My brother and I were told that if we wanted/needed money for things we had to do chores. Different chores had different monetary values, and we could do things around the house to earn the money we needed to go to that movie with our friends, for example. This worked very well except for a few major flaws (most memorably from my high school years). My brother would frequently decide that he didn't really want the money enough to justify what ever chore was expected of him, and he opted not to do the chores. This typically lead to yelling, because for my parents it wasn't so much about teaching their two boys about financial responsibility as it was about them not wanting to do the chores themselves. So, after a while, my mother would talk me into doing whatever chores my brother was supposed to have done. The second major flaw was that my mother never seemed to have cash on hand for payment for said chores (never mind the fact that I was expected to do my brother's chores without compensation). She said that she was keeping a tally of things that I had done around the house and monies that I was owed. Very rarely did she ever pay up. **sigh**

This lead to the very awkward high school job hunt, for me. I remember applying to Burger King, and I actually got an interview. Of course, believing (as my father frequently told me) that the world revolved around me, my interview skills were quite lacking. Turns out that honesty is not always the best policy in job interviews, especially when you say that you want spending money and to get out of the house and away from the parents instead of saying that you really like Burger King burgers and want to be part of the fast food community or some other bullshit.

Eventually, though, I learned (some), and I landed a job at a department store at the mall. Ah yes, the naive, young Okturn folded clothes and such for hours on end, often helping clueless mothers pick out outfits for their teenaged sons that were "about your size". This job was great, because I did make some money and get some real world experience. This included the realization that seasonal help was NOT a long-term part time job and that creepy old men that work at department stores like to hit on younger guys by smacking their asses with hangers.

The downside of the high school job was that I was sucked in to the 25% employee discount (10% off at other stored owned by the same parent company). Nearly all of my pay went back into the coffers of the Dayton-Hudson corporation, and I got some really awesome early-90s fashions for my closet.

This also lead to my first taste of credit cards. Dut-duh-duuuuhh (dramatic music). But to get the full thrust of the credit card talk, we need to dial back a couple years.

Picture it... suburban Chicago, 1992. I'm offered a great opportunity as one of the honor students in the school district to travel Eastern Europe, recently after the fall of the Iron Curtain. It's a great opportunity, and my parents were all for it. Nine cities, six countries, 18 days, no parents. At 16 years old, this is an AWESOME thing (hell at 33 years old, I'd still kill to do this again). This trip introduced something into my life that would last for the next six or seven years -- The Credit Card. I use capital letters instead of just the credit card, because this was not just my introduction to credit cards as a financial concept. This was The Credit Card.

To explain... on top of the trip adviser recommended traverlers cheques, my parents decided that it would be a great idea to give me a Visa card. This card had my name on it, but it was not my own account. No. This card was linked to my mother's Chase account, and with her excellent credit The Credit Card had an unholy credit limit (I wouldn't learn the exact limit until years later, so you'll have to wait as well for that bit). The Credit Card was given basically for emergencies, but they trusted me.

In high school, The Credit Card was never a huge issue. I think, if I remember correctly, I gave The Credit Card back to my mother after the Europe trip. However, the spending habits of my parents that I watched and absorbed throughout the flourishing 1980s and early 90s really was a lesson that in retrospect should not have been learned.

I mentioned that they taught us that we needed to earn our way in life. However, my parents did not practice what they preached. I don't think that my parents over-spent themselves to financial ruin or anything that dramatic. But we always had the latest gadgets and electronics. My parents remodeled every house we ever lived in. And there were frequently new cars and such high ticket items being purchased. Hell, we had internet in our house in 1993! Not many of my friends at the time could say that. We had several computers when most people had none. So, really, instead of completely embracing the "earn your money" lesson, I rather learned that really, anyone could get whatever he/she wanted as long as he/she had a little piece of plastic and promised to pay for it later.

One non-financial lesson from my early years (that has direct bearing on my financial life now) was how to be self-sufficient, independent, and take care of myself. I guess that's three ways of saying the same thing, really. But seriously, by the time I was leaving home for college, I was cooking dinner for myself, if not the whole family, several nights per week. Doing my own laundry and caring for my younger brother on my own. Well, I had been de facto babysitter for my brother since I was 12. Some people that I've shared more personal details about my young life have said that this is a result of bad parenting or lazy parenting. I've even been told that my parents shouldn't have had children. I can't say that I completely disagree with that assessment, but my parents' parenting is not what this is about. The end result, and I'm glad this is how my life was (now), is that I'm a rather independent person for the most part. I may not like doing "grown-up" things, but I know what to do and how to get things done without relying on my parents. And that is definitely a good thing.

Lessons Learned in Part I:
(1) Earn your way in life; don't expect to be handed money/things.
(2) Credit cards are good (although the full thrust of this lesson had yet to hit home for me).
(3) Independence.
(4) My parents favored my brother over me (whether this is real or imagined is subject of debate, but this is from MY perspective).

Next up: Part II - The College Years